Now that the summer holidays are over ( in Scotland) we headed back to a local toddler group. We had been quite a few times after moving back up and to be honest Ailsa didn’t enjoy it at all. There was one mum who was particularly shouty at her child for just doing things children do and Ailsa did not like it all. Of course, we do sometimes raise our voice but this mum was quite aggressive in her tone to her child, so we decided not to go back for a while. We went back this week and luckily shouty mum wasn’t there as her little boy has now started nursery, Ailsa had a great time playing and interacting with the other children as it was quite busy. The only one who didn’t really enjoy it was me.
Now I’m not the type of person who needs everyone to pay me immediate attention when I walk into the room but sometimes it is nice for someone to say “Hi, how are you? “. I had walked along from the car park with another mum who I overheard asking where the building was and we had a little chat on the way but once we got there she knew some people already and sat with them and everyone else was in their own groups. I sat on my own most of the time, I did have one of the gentlemen who helps to run it speak to me a couple of times but that was it.
I think I find it all a little harder since I don’t have any mum friends locally and although I am very lucky to have super supportive friends in general, it’s not quite the same as meeting up with another mum friend and her little one for a coffee and a play date. The groups I would attend when we lived down south the mums would always make an effort to speak to everyone and include people in their conversations, so far I haven’t found that here. Next time though I will try to be more proactive in talking to people, I don’t think I can solely blame my lack of pals on other people not talking to me when I haven’t made any effort.
I do think though that when you are at a group like Toddlers you should make an effort to speak to someone who may not know anyone and is new to the group. It’s so important to make people feel welcome and you really have no idea what is going on with them. Maybe she is suffering from Post Natal Depression or has a horrendous home life that they are trying to escape or is just feeling lonely and needs a little companionship. You never know you may make a lovely friend to.