After reading a wonderful post by Hannah at Hi Baby Blog I was inspired to add my thoughts and experiences to the topic, should we be encouraging our daughters to marry well?
I was raised by a single mother with little contact with my dad. My mum worked hard to provide us with a good life, we travelled and I had nice things but there were many tough times both financially and with our relationship. I was encouraged to do well at school and I went on to Scotland’s top University but I was most certainly encouraged to find a wealthy man and Marry well. It felt as though I was expected to ensure that any man I dated was from a wealthy background to ensure I or any future children would be well provided for rather than me working hard to ensure I could support myself and my family. During my time at university I saw this with many young women I met looking for a wealthy man to date especially with so much affluence in the town but is that the best thing that these intelligent women could hope for, I think not.
I of course met my husband at university a perfectly normal man from a normal family, I would certainly say I married well in the fact that he is a wonderful husband and father but financially we aren’t what I would class as wealthy. We are comfortable and happy and looking forward to living a life we created with us both working on our own business ideas. But did I marry well in the way I was expected to, no I did not. I married my husband because I loved him, we share the same values and have the same ethics. I certainly didn’t look to the amount of money in his bank account or his future earning potential. Yes it would be nice to have more money, have more holidays etc but is it going to make us happier than we are right now?
Now I am a mother to a wonderful little girl I want to teach her to work hard for her own achievements, be that a fantastic career, being a stay at home mum or whatever else she chooses to do in life. I will not expect her to marry well to ensure financial security but I will encourage her to work hard and earn her own financial security. If that is through the partnership that a marriage can bring then yes I will most definitely encourage her. If she is a single woman working hard for herself then I will encourage her. I will encourage her to find love with whomever she chooses, I will encourage her to find love with someone who treats her well with the same ambition to create a great life together. I want her to create a life she is proud of because she worked for it rather than marrying for it. That is what I hope for my daughter.
Just as Hannah ends her post- Our intention is to raise the best little human we can!